It's just that...

Dear God,

what is the 'special' thing about me? I don't have such a pretty face, a fairly skin as other girls  do, a long and skinny leg like I always dream to have. I don't have any talent in me. I can't smile properly. I never have a boyfriend ( I don't need one for the time being ). I can't sing well. My picture is always look bad. I'm terrible!

*sigh*

Everyone didn't trust me. They always left me behind. I'm a bit fat now. I don't own any of my 'dream' things and I can't get em' easily. I usually have to work hard to get em'. I don't excel in class and people always talk bad about me. People rather think about my 'evil side' than think about 'how good I am actually'.

*cough*

I am not the 'Cruella De Vil' for crying out loud! I'm no selfish but people around me keep back stabbing and lied to me. They look down on myself and make funny about my sad story. They used to look me as a loser and you moron, stop think that I'm such an idiot. And lastly......they threw me away from their life. They used to dumped me again and again.

*crying*

and now, I've realized that I don't have time to laugh much, yet my time is for spent the whole day staying in the room while thinking on how to be freedom from all the things that messed up me. I'd love to stay in dark without let any of light come to appear while I was crying for the entire life. God save me!

*heartache*

I don't have anything I guess. I do own family and friends but not own their mind nor either their heart. I'm afraid of being myself. I felt really insecure when I look at other people happiness. I'm sure that I don't have a chance to study abroad. I can't go to London as my year-end holiday. I can't travel to any of my dream country, such as Japan and Paris. I just only can shared the same dream with Moon and promised her to go to Korea with her one day.

*hoping*

I can't drew well, I just love Justin Bieber and I think Zayn's got such a beautiful eyes. I hate to see myself as a someone that born with nothing and when it's come to realize the fact, I refuse to accept any commitment in life. I've decided to not hangin' with friends and meet some people who's 'walk faster' than me with some 'proudly things' to showed up. And now, I'm here totally thinking about my future in order to get rid those things that make me become weak, and to be the best among all the people. 

and I love Minho, I hope to see you soon even though I know I shouldn't have such a dream but I still love you! love, me xx.

&Hearts,

Teemy.